Why do we have the word "prayer"? How is praying unique or different from talking?

This question bubbles up into my conscious thoughts any time I hear someone teach on the importance of prayer. Once you’re 15 minutes in to a monologue and the word “prayer” has been used 28 different times, it starts to lose meaning.

I find myself asking: what are we really talking about anymore? Isn’t prayer just talking?

I mean, I talk to God and I talk to my children. I talk to the cashier and I talk to my neighbor. Yes, I change my approach and formality based on the context of each situation. But do we really need to give talking to one person a special label?

Let’s take a quick dive into the verb “to pray” and see if we land on a clarifying idea.

Linguistic Roots

The English word prayer comes from the Latin “precari,” meaning to entreat, beg, or request earnestly.

So at its root, prayer isn’t casual speech — it implies intentional communication toward someone greater, with reverence and humility. It carries the sense of petition, thanksgiving, or adoration, not just dialogue.

By contrast, “talk” simply means to exchange words or ideas. Talking can be mutual, spontaneous, and horizontal (person-to-person), while prayer is considered vertical - directed “upward” toward the divine.

Relational Purpose

Prayer is conversation, but it’s conversation in a specific relationship. It assumes:

• Faith that someone is listening beyond the visible world.

• Reverence or acknowledgment of divine authority.

• Openness to guidance, not just expression.

Talking can inform, persuade, or entertain.

Prayer aims to connect, surrender, and often align our hearts or will with God’s.

So while talking shares thoughts, prayer transforms them. It’s an act of trust, dependence, or worship.

Theological & Experiential

Many traditions describe prayer as two-way communication that goes beyond words:

• In Christianity, prayer isn’t only speaking to God but also creating stillness to listen for God.

• In Buddhism, prayer may express intention or cultivate compassion.

• In Judaism, prayer Hebrew word “(tefillah”) comes from a root meaning to judge oneself, suggesting introspection and alignment with divine standards.

I’m fascinated by the Hebrew word: “To judge, to evaluate, to intercede”.

Amazing.

This is going to be a tangent, but bear with me.

In the Old Testament stories and era, the people had no direct communication or expectation of relationship with God. They functioned through intermediaries called priests.

So their version of prayer was certainly more of a distant engagement by which they would examine themselves in the light of the memorized Torah, or Law of God.

Without Jesus, prayer looks different. It’s really not communing as much as it is reflecting, meditating, declaring, and self-analyzing.

A Modern View of Prayer

In modern day practice, post-resurrection, prayer takes on more personal aspects. It’s not only reflection, meditation, and petition — it’s communion.

It blends expression, reflection, and relationship into one act.

Perhaps the most puzzling or nuanced issue with praying is what I call the constant “adjusting" or “adapting” of posture from the individual.

Some prayers are intimate, like a friend confiding in a friend. Some prayers are familial, like a child seeking comfort from a dad. Some prayers are desperate, like a cry for help in an emergency. Some prayers are formal, like a lawyer requesting a stay of execution from a judge. Some prayers are worshipful, like a high priest bowing before the Presence of God around the ark of the covenant.

Each and all of these prayer types are appropriate types of a believer’s prayer.

The question that has been posed to me which I will in turn pose to you is:

Do you get stuck relating to God in one or two of these ways, or do you require yourself to remain sensitive to His Spirit and adapt to the appropriate expression of prayer that is called for in the moment?

That is the great and wonderful question before us.

We have this unfashionable opportunity to commune with the Lord over all Lords and the King over all Kings, an we can petite the Father through Him.

It is a great and beautiful mystery for us to unfold day after day after day.

The lessons you learned from your parents, your church, and mentors guided your early views on business, money, and the pursuit of wealth.

Most likely you fell into one of two camps:

1. The belief that pursuing wealth and riches is a secular endeavor not intended for the faithful.

2. The belief that God wants his children to prosper, and that a good father gives good gifts to his children.

OR you land somewhere in-between. Maybe you haven’t even thought about it. Well, I have. A lot. And I’m going to share a bit with you because it relates to Book #6 on the Book Club List the book I recently read titled Think And Grow Rich, by Napoleon Hill.

The very name is off-putting for me, so I imagine you may have some reservations as well. And we’ll get to that. But first, I’m going to be up front about my worldview going into this reading.

28 years ago, the first verse I ever felt prompted to read as a believer was Hebrews 13:5-8. Let’s take a look at it from two separate translations.

That first line was a bit hard to swallow since I don’t automatically know what it means. I mean, who ACTUALLY uses the word “covetousness” anymore?

I can’t remember which translation I read first all those years ago. I remember a blend of two different translations. Here’s what I remember:

I haven’t found that exact translation online, but it’s the one I remember. It makes sense, given that the “love of money” is attributed to being “the root of all evil.”

So be careful not to love money. But be content with what you already have. For God Himself has said that he’ll never leave you or forsake you.

That’s a powerful concept. I am reassured that God has my back.

I first read this verse when I was 19 years old. At the time, I was a waiter. I didn’t make good money. I lived with my parents. I had no life plan. So “not loving money” was an easy enough concept. I didn’t have any money to love or any prospects to get more.

Fast forward 10 years. I’m a husband. I’m about to be a father. Money means more to me at 29 than it did at 19.

Fast forward another 10 years. I have three children. Our grocery budget has doubled. Kids grow out of their clothes every year. Money means a lot more to me than it did just ten years prior.

My interest in money increased as my needs and responsibilities increased.

I never really LOVED money, so to speak. I only ever cared about the things we needed to have to get by and a little extra to do a few things that we liked.

Getting rich for the sake of being rich never appealed to me. In fact, the idea of being a billionaire comes with WAY too much baggage and stress. Why? Because whatever you own you have a responsibility to steward. That means you have to take care of your stuff.

Can a Christian benefit from books on getting rich?

I think it’s possible. But there are caveats. It takes a special kind of character to manage significant wealth and not be changed by it for the worse.

Would I recommend Think and Grow Rich to most believers? Probably not. Not unless I spoke with them first and determined what their chief goal in acquiring wealth is.

The level of detail in the book about “manifesting your desire” through obsession and constant attention exceeds any healthy desire I’ve ever had to achieve goals that cost money.

In other words, nothing I’ve ever wanted has ever been so important that I would set aside my mind for the sole purpose of obsessing about wealth.

I won’t speak for all people. I can only speak for myself. I feel a calling to seek out ways to generate money for the sake of my family, but money’s no more exciting than what I want and need to use it for.

I would say be careful. It would be better to FIRST establish a mission or a purpose to achieve that requires money to facilitate its fruition than to start off with a generic desire to be rich.

Wealth, popularity, and fame are terrible goals. But they’re useful tools when a person has a mission worth accomplishing.

Carolyn Fleck opens Chapter 2 of Validation with a story of a sweet woman who was desperate to reconnect with her college-aged daughter. Their relationship had turned so sour, her daughter refused to answer the phone any time she called.

Dozens of emails and text messages went unanswered. Dr. Fleck asked to see the collection of messages to better understand the situation, and learned that despite how warm, upbeat, and positive the mother’s messages were, they were also invalidating. Chronic leukemia was slowly killing her daughter. The daughter also been hospitalized a couple times after a night of heavy drinking.

The mother minimized their mother-daughter conflicts as normal problems every family faces and she’d send articles about the damaging effects of alcohol on immune function. This approach infuriated her daughter and led to the end of communication.

Bitter words and name calling from her daughter two years prior embedded in her heart and impacted the way she saw herself. She was struggling to see herself as anything other than a “bad parent.” Fleck describes the situation this way:

And so we see as Chapter 2 unfolds that as a parent, we can fail to validate our children, and in turn we can invalidate ourselves for our failures, creating a cycle of failure.

Before Fleck could help the mom reconnect to her daughter, she asked her to pause all attempts to communicate with her daughter and recognize how she was invalidating herself. Only after she addressed this issue could she move towards her daughter without self-sabotage.

In a painstakingly slow process, she then rebuilt connection with her daughter by first acknowledge the gravity of the pain and loss felt by their disconnect. It wasn’t “just” something normal every family goes through. It wasn’t just something to ignore and work around.

If you can’t earnestly acknowledge someone’s pain, you cannot be a safe person for them to turn to.

As a parent, we have an awesome power and opportunity to cause our children to feel heard, understood, and known. If we pass up these opportunities, our inaction tells them a story they take with them for the rest of their lives:

”My pain isn’t important. No one thinks it’s real or that big a deal. Yet it hurts me so much and makes me feel like I can’t go on. How could I ever let people in who treat what matters most to me as unimportant?”

Regardless of whether we’re tired, distracted, confused, or anxious, parents wield a god-like influence in the lives of their children when they validate or invalidate their children’s feelings.

Fleck also makes a handful of claims in Chapter 2 that I’m not going to elaborate on, but I’ll share the bullet points:

• Validation will improve your relationships

• Validation will help you manage conflict

• Validating people will increase your influence

• Validation drives big changes

• Validation fosters self-compassion

As I continue to share my thoughts from each section of the book, I’ll include summarized stories or bullet points that impacted me, as well as stories from my own life or art that connect for me.

I hope you’ll read the book for yourself, and find more layers of benefit than what I’m covering here. When you read the book for yourself, let me know your thoughts.

It’s not an understatement to say that reading even the first chapter of this book improved my marriage.

If there is one thing you could count on me doing in a conversation with my wife, it’s to try to solve her problems. Advice, ideas, suggestions. I was in mission to accomplish mode as soon as she started talking.

I was going to be her hero and rescue her from trouble. Period.

Except I didn’t. And I wasn’t.

The interruptions I blasted at her communicated several unintentional truths:

• I never fully listened to what she had to say

• I wasn’t actually interested in knowing what she wanted me to know

• I was focused on how solving her problem would make me a good husband

• She felt more lonely and alone by talking to me

Validation - Psychology’s Best-Kept Secret

When I began reading Carolyn Fleck’s book, it was God timing. I don’t say that often, but it’s true. My wife had asked me countless times in her own way to change the way I handle her and validate her feelings.

Fleck starts the book with a story of her residency as a psychologist. Her client was thinking of killing himself. She felt the sobriety of the moment and knew that if she didn’t handle the conversation right, his world would come crashing down.

The man didn’t want to use the usual skills therapists attempt to equip their patients with. He didn’t want to divulge more about his recently ended relationship. If she followed protocol, he would be hospitalized and medicated and he’d never want to speak to a therapist again.

Instead of following the script, she changed course and uttered these words:

”This sucks. You let your guard down for one second and are immediately attacked with questions from the overzealous graduate student you want to believe gives a shit but is most likely just doing what she’s told. And if that wasn’t enough, the whole thing is being broadcast to a room full of people you’ve never met.”

He softened just a little bit, and she managed to take HIS side and acknowledge HIS feelings. In other words, she validated his experience.

Where many therapists would fear enabling a troubled man, she disarmed him with validation. She didn’t attempt to talk him out of suicide or reduce his risk in any way. Instead, she focused on trying to connect with the experience of this guy who desperately needed help but had learned not to trust anyone who offered it.

It’s Counterintuitive But it Works

When someone declares that their life isn’t worth living, you don’t agree with them, right?

I can tell you from experience that I have encountered friends and loved ones who confessed feelings so dark and so hopeless that I felt obligated to encourage them with words of hope and disagree with them that all was lost. I felt like agreeing with them in any way would tip them over the edge and terrible things might happen.

Turns out, people desperately need validation. We feel deepest dark when we feel alone. When no one understands what we feel. Not only that, but when people tell us we shouldn’t feel the way we feel. It’s demoralizing. It’s isolating.

Whether you tell people they shouldn’t feel that way or offer solutions without hearing their hurt, you won’t get far without validation.

But how do you validate without empowering darkness?

Stay tuned. More to come.

I recognize this going in and I accept the risk.

I invite you to keep reading, and I’ll preface this by saying that I have experienced prophecy that was accurate and prophecy that was fake.

I don’t buy everything just to support “my people” and I don’t toss out the baby with the bath water because there’s been abuse.

Prophetic Fraud and Abuse

People who have sought prophetic words for guidance and direction are giving up on prophetic ministry.

In light of the continuous stream of scandals exposed on every level of Christian ministry, it’s easy to see why.

How could a man who cheated and looked up personal info on Facebook NOT be a fraud? How could a group of regional leaders giving a “word of the day” or “word for the new year” be legitimate? And what about the inaccurate prophecies and sexual scandals?

One such scandal led a prophetic minister to call out a significant word to a man in the crowd. The word was his girlfriend’s name, and she took the prophecy to be God’s stamp of approval on their relationship.

She married him and he physically abused her. She stayed in the marriage believing God had called her to walk by faith. She held onto hope that a miracle was coming.

It never did, and she eventually found the ability to leave despite her internal programming.

Taking a big picture view

To accurately map the prophetic movement, warts and all, it is necessary to take the sociologist's approach and think multi-generationally.

So much changes each year with advancements in technology that we've expected rapid levels of development and advancement in all areas.

It takes time and generations for people to observe, experiment, learn from mistakes, adapt, and try again, over and over.

First, there was a period where a few "special" and "gifted" people would prophesy. They were handed platforms and influence. These men often could not handle the fame and power to influence. After all, a gifting has never been dependent on holy character.

After a generation or two, the recognized "gifted" began to teach others a process. Those who had never been taught began teaching others.

They released tens of thousands of believers to practice on each other with what would still be seen as very slight training.

One result of this multi-generational period was the extremely flawed process of "interpretation", whereby a person receives an impression, a word, a phrase, etc and interprets or extrapolates full sentence and full thought meaning from that snippet.

One could only venture to guess the percentage of inaccurate words given during this period were significant.

A common mistake

The most common mistakes involved prophesying a much larger and dramatic life change when an accurate interpretation would have addressed the events of the current week.

People whose imaginations revolve around full-time ministry callings and delusions of grandeur prophesied earth changing callings and destinies over people who would only ever directly impact their immediate social group.

A generation of disillusioned believers resulted from the mishandling of incomplete information. People who want to believe that God still speaks.

In this series of posts, I’m responding to the burgeoning Christian leader scandal exposure culture that’s bloomed in the recent months. Several of the people platforming scandal exposure are long-time friends and acquaintances of mine.

Posts to catch up on in this series:

• It's Time To Discuss the Root Cause of Church Scandals

• Will Exposing Spiritual Abusers Lead to Meaningful Change?

• Did I React Too Quickly to Platforms Exposing Christian Leadership Scandals? (current article)

The exposure of corruption, abuse, deception, and other dark dealings by influential Christian ministers may need to come to light FIRST so that we can see what is or isn't God.

Through this process, we will learn some painful truths about our own levels of discernment and naïveté. We will face the test of whether we throw out the baby with the bathwater, or we hold fast to scripture and the demonstration of God's love and power and authority, while realizing that perhaps the methods and structures we've admired were not as God intended.

My objection to the current approach

I have interjected my own voice, perhaps hastily because of the people I know and admire who have online platforms and have recently dedicated significant time and energy and bandwidth to discuss these scandals.

I have a concern for my brothers in Christ who built platforms for the purpose of discussing theology or platforming testimonies of Jesus' authority and power and goodness on the earth, who have shifted gears toward the perpetual discussion of Christian leadership corruption.

Perhaps my concern is born out of the reality that it's not my calling or place to champion these discussions at this time, and so the extreme focus and time being spent on these topics feels like a concerning platform shift to me.

Perhaps this is a service these people provide to expose the wounds that need to heal. And perhaps the call rising up in me to address not the exposure step, but the reorganization and reimagining of church structure isn't antithetical to this exposure stage, but rather the organic continuation of it.

I am pondering these possibilities.

The Kingdom of God will not advance through tweaks and minor modifications.

For it grieves my heart to think of generations of believers living their lives, making these bold prophetic declarations in the church service of all the amazing wonders of God coming to the church, who then grow old and feeble and pass without furthering the body towards that goal .

I don't wanna hear about revivals because the auditorium-centric church cannot properly disciple a harvest if it were to come. It would be utter chaos. Just thousands or millions of new people, singing emotional songs without grounding or discipleship or much fruit of the spirit or connection to the local body.

We experimented with cell groups, 30 years ago. And many churches still have home groups that meet weekly. But these are often either just book clubs or micro church services with the same format that fails to integrate everyone and disciple people and assist them in the exercise and development of their talents.

And so I am convinced that the church to come cannot focus on platforms, and it cannot surround a select few with an audience, because the audience's only practiced skill is to sit still and listen. And that activity does not build muscle and that passive activity does not yield fruit.

So the structure to come, must be collaborative meetings as Paul described when he said each person comes with a song or a hymn or a spiritual song or a willingness to serve with the abilities and talents they have. Each person bears an expectation and responsibility to contribute in a meaningful way that helps the people in their neighborhood or community. This is where life in relationship is built.

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over, from generation to generation, while expecting different results. 

What topic do we cover next?

While I considered the possibility I overreacted, there are objections to the current approach that will need to be discussed.

Just because the victims of abuse need healing and restoration doesn’t mean that our current methods of handling these topics are ideal.

I’m not naturally an artificially structured copywriter, so you’ll find each response is an organic, winding progression of thought from a point toward a solution.

Stay tuned for the next step in the progression of thought. If you’d like to receive an email when the next post comes out, feel free to subscribe below.

The barrage of articles, podcasts, and Facebook posts detailing alleged abuses of mega church pastors, prophets, and evangelists has grown into its own cottage industry.

I wrote recently that I believe we should be VERY careful how much we consume and discuss content about corruption and abuse. Not at all because we need to shelter the guilty. But because we as third party consumers have no real responsibility to uncover or discuss the private lives or public failings of others.

Some of my friends and fond acquaintances have objected to my criticism, and defended their approach by arguing that exposure can or will lead to reformation in the church.

I disagree with the idea that exposing the corrupt practices of influential Christian leaders will by itself expose the artificial and ineffectual state of the modern church and lead to effectual reform.

The reason why is that most church members do not question the organizational structure of modern day auditorium-centric church. And so the solutions they'll come up with post-scandal exposure will be slight tweaks and modifications of the existing model.

Significant change rarely comes from those who are the most invested and who benefit most from the current model.

The current model is a known quantity and it has become unquestioned tradition, and it feels safe to attend as an audience member with no actual responsibilities required and little disruption to every other part of daily life.

It's easy to do auditorium-centric Church because of the very fact that you can attend and leave unchanged. The scale and the platform create an environment in which no one expects anything from you. Unless you're a professional or a gifted on stage.

As to whether the person calling for change bears the responsibility to establish that change, we could have asked the same exact question to John the Baptist:

"Hey dude, why are you telling us we're sinners and dunking people in the water? Where's the path forward? Why aren't you leading us into the change you want to see?"

And so we see that the Body still needs to function as a body. We don't each do all things equally well. We don't each carry the responsibility for all the things. We're not all hands or feet or eyes or mouths.

It took John the Baptist, and his disciples, and then Jesus, and his disciples.

And Jesus didn't build the Christian church during his 30+ years on earth. But he discipled some regular everyday guys who did.

There are already house assemblies gathering and supporting one another with their gifts and talents and resources. It's already happening.

Some of those came about organically just through friendship and relationship. Some of those gathered around a rallying cry from voices who've been calling for this restoration for decades.

I don't think you're going to see leaders in the present day auditorium centric Church shifting course and calling the congregation to an exclusively house-based model in which they lose their platform and their salary and their prestige. That's not typical human behavior.

In fact, the ones who do make the attempt may find themselves caught in the struggle of 501c3-ing a home network model with the covenants and bylaws.

One of the biggest questions to come will be: how much industrialization of the church is necessary? This is where the worldviews and practices of permaculture would serve the Body of Christ to learn from God's Creation how ecosystems work and thrive and are sustained.

I have so many friends and acquaintances in church leadership that it pains me to write this because they are wonderful people with hearts to love and serve. and I know my words will be taken as an insult by some, or a belittling of their life's work, and this grieves me more than I can say.

I think it would be equally concerning for a person to call for an end to the current structure, AND flesh out the entire new structure, AND lead and facilitate that group into practicing that new structure.

Your pastors aren't your most skilled teachers. Your teachers aren't your most skilled pastors. Your evangelists aren't your most skilled pastors or teachers. Your administrators aren't your most skilled pastors or teachers or evangelists. Your accountants aren't your most skilled administrators.

It takes a body.

Rather than consuming the constant breaking news coverage of the latest pastor's scandal, it’s time to address the systemic dysfunction of the contemporary church model.

The expiration date of this artificial platform-centric model has come. It elevates the few to superior status and employs professional priest-Christians.

The building is not God’s house. The sanctuary is not the temple.

Relationship, equipping, and discipleship typically place outside of this structure.

The next stage in the development of the Christian church is the return to and the restoration of the house assembly.

Not just smaller versions of modern church service. Not just a smaller scale platform.

Some communities have already embraced this shift.

Some house gatherings will network together and some won’t. An individual will have influence on his or her local community gathering.

Each person shows up ready to contribute whatever talents and skills they have.

The Lord’s Supper (aka Communion) is an ACTUAL meal taking place in relationship.

Whether this shift takes place over 5 years or 50, I believe it is coming and is now here.

No megastars and no idols. Real people serving real people.

The least becomes the greatest. Again.

Some of the sweetest people treat themselves as NPCs in other people’s stories. You might be doing the same without realizing it.

You know how you’re pushing a grocery cart toward the end of the aisle and someone else is right there at the corner about to pass by and you both stop to avoid a collision?

I used to be the guy who would pause to let the other person pass and say "Sorry!" as though my presence along their path was my mistake.

Turns out many people react this way. But why are we apologizing? Did you collide? Did you hurt anyone? Then what’s the fuss about?

No, don't just dismiss it as something you say. You could say ANYTHING in that moment, including “hello!” but you choose to say sorry.

That means something, even if your subconscious hasn’t surfaced the reason just yet.

Unnecessary apologies kill your confidence, and they erode other people’s perception of you.

How This Popped Up on My Radar

A few years ago, Maja Jovanovic gave a TEDx Talk on how we often apologize for being late to a meeting, and she encouraged her audience to instead say “Thank you for your patience.”

We each choose how we react in a given moment, and we miss opportunities to reclaim a dignity we hadn’t realized we'd lost.

Thanking people for small things rather than apologizing attributes dignity to others as well. Rather than focusing on the inconvenience, focus on the magnanimity.

I changed my behavior as an experiment.

While the grocery store scenario is somewhat different, I borrowed the principle and altered my response.

I chose very intentionally to instead say, "pardon me".

Not in the technical sense as in seeking a pardon. But in the genteel manner of acknowledging another person with respect.

After several years of this altered approach, it always strikes me as unfortunate when a person says "sorry" to me in the grocery store. Because I don't think anyone should ever apologize for their normal existence, even if it's casually inconvenient to other people.

We see ourselves differently when we change a pattern.

“Don’t be surprised if there’s nothing left of your confidence at the end of the day, because you’ve given it away, with every needless, useless apology.”

You are not a NPC obstacle in the path of the story’s primary character. You are a main character, just like everyone else.

Are some people born superstars and business moguls? Are they made of different stuff than we are? Or are their successes achievable for us as well?

When we look at those who have achieved dramatically greater success than the average person, it’s helpful to know that there are reasons why this occurred beyond magic, inheritance, and luck.

We’ll dive into those reasons in future posts about this book. Since Useful Humans exists to react to and learn from great books, you’ll want to subscribe if you haven’t already, to keep track of all the different trains of thought that stem from a single book on the reading list.

Subscribe now

In our lifetime, it’s become popular to envy the rich and famous to the point of bitter criticism, and an entitled desire to see them brought low through extensive taxation and misfortune.

I think this reaction is the result of ignorant envy. When we don’t know how to do better for ourselves, there’s a temptation to consider it unfair for anyone else to experience significantly greater outcomes.

Rather than trying to bring the successful down, let’s aim to educate ourselves and through effort and mentoring rise to the occasion.

Do you have the ability to control over your own thoughts?

A concept we’ll struggle to accept. In an age where fleeting thoughts and feelings are rated the most authentic forms of our selves, it’s no wonder we haven’t learned to consider ourselves the master of our own thoughts.

After all, we’ve each had some pretty crazy thoughts pop into our heads from time to time. Where did they come from? Without a credible explanation for the source of thoughts and ideas beyond our own selves, we attribute each thought as the creation of our own personalities and/or subconscious minds.

I’m not here to tell you how to define your subconscious mind. I will, however, challenge you to ponder how sensible it is to attribute every mysterious thing within you to this undefined, unlocatable part of yourself that you cannot prove other than by pointing to inexplicable events as some sort of unscientific proof.

By doing this, every single thought that has ever occurred to us gets automatically and, perhaps carelessly, attributed to our own personality.

Are you REALLY satisfied with that conclusion? That every thought was originated by you? Even the ones that you find repulsive and disturbing? You just have this Jekyll and Hyde-like soul that both creates the beautiful and the profane?

Technology companies are actively working on the ability to see, recognize, and understand thoughts. At this exact moment, the tech exists to observe thoughts occurring and differentiate on some level different types of thoughts.

If a machine is capable of seeing thoughts at all, then thoughts must have an energy signature. They must be a type of broadcast signal. And if they are, what if you’ve always received broadcast signals from elsewhere, outside yourself, but lacked the awareness and skill to discern one source from another?

So here we are, faced with a very important question:

Do all thoughts you’ve observed come from you? If so, how did you conceive of so many intrusive thoughts that disagree with your behavior, patterns, and experiences?

If not, where did some of those thoughts come from? What is your responsibility toward them? How do you achieve the power to control your own thoughts?

Without attempting to explain the more abstract nature of thought, Napoleon Hill describes how we can not only control our thoughts, but also control and direct our belief.

We’ll dive further into those concepts in another post.

Success lies just beyond failure

I’m reminded of Thomas Edison. It’s said he tried more than one thousand times to create a proper light bulb. He didn’t call the first 1,000 attempts failure, but rather he said he found 1,000 ways that didn’t work.

That sounds clever at the onset. But if you had tried to create something even 50 times and failed, at what point do you conceded that the answer is unknowable to you?

Place yourself in his position. You have no idea how exactly it will work. There’s no hindsight or clues. You try, you fail. You try again, you fail again. You try 50 more times, and fail each time. You have no idea whether the solution will present itself on the 51st attempt, the 550th attempt, or the 1,001st attempt.

That Time I Failed to Sell on Amazon

I launched a product for sale on Amazon in 2017 with minimal budget. 100% wool dryer balls. They help your clothes dry faster with fewer wrinkles. But it was already a highly competitive market. By 2019 it was clear that my product couldn’t compete in the market against more established brands with thousands of positive reviews. I tried five different listings in search of the magic sauce, but eventually the only tactic that moved merchandise was lower price point.

I closed down the product line after deciding that it wasn’t worth my effort or my time to troubleshoot this product or continue further attempts to differentiate it in a saturated market.

Was there anything wrong with the product I chose? Not at all. With enough startup capital, I could have weathered the storm of the first 3-5 years and by now we’d have a thriving business that would probably have expanded to multiple other products based on the success of the first.

But that never happened. In fact, I never tried selling another product on Amazon again. Is Amazon a faulty system? Not at all. Thousands of people make excellent money selling products on the world’s largest marketplace website.

The difference is that I gave up. I was not willing to take another step forward after suffering defeat and supply chain issues.

I did not witness the glory of success because I failed to follow the example of exemplary men and women all over the world. I quit and moved on.

Should you quit or press through?

There’s nothing wrong with quitting, though.

In some cases, the ability to cut losses and move on is the secret to future success.

We view the world through limited vantage points. We see one person quit a business only to launch a successful business later, and we call that wisdom. We see another person quit one business only to fail at a second business and we call that foolish (or at least unprepared).

And that’s the rub, isn’t it? We’ll never know in advance whether quitting or persevering is the answer for the particular challenge we face.

And yet, the choice remains . . .

I felt the barb from this quote as I was renown in high school as the “honest nice guy”. I wouldn’t let the cool kids copy my work. I still remember turning down a pretty girl and feeling so frustrated that she was ethically compromised.

A couple years later, my best friends were the two most popular rebels from our high school and I was the nice guy their girlfriends would turn to for advice and insight, wondering whether their guys were faithful.

Lots of girls flirted with those two guys. And absolutely no girls were beating down my door at the time.

From an early age, women respond to strength, confidence, and decisiveness, even when it’s fake. There’s safety and security in a relationship with a man who knows his purpose and believes he can get there. That strength of conviction and courage to face insurmountable odds elicits admiration and respect.

A hesitant man, on the other hand, demonstrates fear and weakness to a woman. He’s not reliable, because he could change his mind or turn and run when it gets tough.

Nice, passive, hesitant guys fail to project safety and security. Women notice. How many times has the nice guy in a group been relegated to the friend zone?

Whatever we hide, we empower. That’s a phrase that has stuck with me my entire adult life. If I can’t expose it to the light, it controls me. I am bound.

“Unwept” is a powerful term. I’m not even sure it’s a real word, but the meaning is clear. How many men have never wept for a wound because they felt they weren’t allowed to have a need? Men feel compelled to project strength. It’s expected of a man to handle his business regardless.

And when we don’t practice expressing our pain, our grief, and truly mourn, we bottle up the pain inside and it festers like a cancer. Unwept wounds kill a man’s soul.

This ties in to another book I’m reading that I’ll share with you soon. It’s called Validation, by Carolyn Fleck, PhD.

In the first chapter, she talks about acceptance as a necessary step to change. It sounds counterintuitive, since we think acceptance leads to identity building and worldview shaping. But really, we’re talking about validating pain.

If you can’t weep for your wounds, you likely haven’t validated them. The live rent-free in your body, wreaking havoc on your nervous system and cellular biology.

To heal, you must first validate the pain is real and it is worthy of being addressed (rather than stuffed away). Then you can weep for yourself, or the child within. Once you have allowed self to process the pain, you can move forward and address the issue of what to do next.

It’s life-changing to experience grieving for the first time without hiding or shame. You’re just a person who feels things. And it’s okay.

I’m still debating what to do with this quote. It actually flies directly in the face of another quote I’ve heard and followed regarding one’s life purpose.

The OTHER advice was to ask yourself “What is the thing you are skilled to do that the world needs? That is your purpose.”

Eldredge says no, what makes you come alive? The world needs men who are alive with passion and purpose and who are fueled and motivated to do the work before them. That life gives life to others.

I think the other quote gives men a starting point when they feel lost, and I think Eldredge tells men further down the road not to settle for just any old problem solving.

That’s it for me on this one. If you want to discuss a different topic from the book, let me know.

Men are wired for action, purpose, and connection.

That’s the message from John Eldredge’s best-selling book, Wild at Heart.

In order to face the battles worth fighting, a boy must be initiated into manhood by another man. He must be told he has what it takes to be a man. He must be tested and he must endure.

Trouble is, we’re short on men willing or aware of the need to mentor these boys into manhood.

When my fourteen year old son Micah grabbed me and squeezed to test his strength, he caught me by surprise and I almost knocked him down with my reflex response.

As I listened to this book on my morning walks, I realize that I’ve been too controlling at times when my boys want to express their energy and boyhood.

They’re very well behaved and respectful in public, but I think they’ve been deprived of a few wild adventures. And now that it’s on my radar, I take it very seriously.

I don’t want to raise “nice” boys. I don’t want to shame my sons into behaving. They deserve to know that their manhood is a blessing, and not a toxic trait to be tamed.

Self-control is definitely still a fruit of the Spirit. I haven’t forgotten. But boys who are repressed express their feelings in other, more destructive ways.

John Eldredge writes that boys need a physical exchange and the passing on of a masculine substance from father to son. They crave it and they desire it. and they’re shamed they will be confused and uncertain about what to do with these primal but instinctual desires and urges.

It sounds like they need to wrestle with me far more than they have and use their strength against me. And I need to be man enough to be OK with it and not feel threatened.

It’s not that I feel threatened, it’s that when they use their strength against me, I feel an obligation to address it so that they don’t use that same strength towards women or weaker men. I’ve needed more of a rudder guiding me so I can guide them.

This book is easy to underestimate.

My wife expressed concern when I mentioned that I was reading this book, because I think the general consensus has been that books on healing masculinity tend to ignore the actual feelings and needs of a woman. Or maybe they promote a hyper-testosterone fueled hunting/guns/gym misogynist.

I don’t know why this book stood out as a must-include in my list, but it did. During a time of prayer, I came up with a list of books on masculinity and being a man and peppered them into the 50 Book Challenge.

You don’t have to be a man to read it or get some valuable insights from it. And there are certainly some moments where the author displays his view of masculinity as a very external, expressive and muscular expression… and that’s not necessarily wrong.

But most of us have certainly been domesticated by college, jobs, PTA meetings, HOAs, church conferences, etc. So it’s easy to overreact to the masculine in this book as excessive when, perhaps, we just haven’t stepped up our game and we’re offended that his descriptions sound so different than us.

Just a thought.

I have a few other takeaways from the book this Friday. If you haven’t started reading yet, pick up your copy and listen while you walk like I do or grab a Kindle copy.

“What was your name again? I’m terrible with names.” It’s a common line. I’ve used it. You’ve probably used it. But is it true? Are we really terrible with names, or have we maybe just focused on other details?

Principle 3: “Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.”

This is one of those truths that we don’t like to hear, because it makes us feel pretty self-centered. Does it make me a bad person because I didn’t care what your name was?

But I don’t think it make you selfish to feel strongly motivated to reward a person who recognizes, remembers, and uses your name. This is the very start of intimacy.

It’s common to hear a person’s first name upon greeting and, after a brief conversation, to casually ask a second time for their name as you depart. We didn’t prioritize their name, but focused instead on what value they offered to us. Then, if enough value was offered to warrant another conversation later, we might recognize we don’t recall their name and ask for it in an attempt to preserve the memory.

What does it say about us that we’re focused on what the person has to offer rather than who the person is? Is that only a negative? Or is it a reasonable approach given how many pieces of new information we encounter each day and the obvious fact that we need to prioritize remembering the pieces that might be useful later?

Give yourself a pass for historical miscues like forgetting people’s names, but recognize that this is a new day and you have the opportunity to significantly improve your situation by making little course corrections like this one.

1. Listen for their name

2. Ask how to spell it if it’s not obvious

3. Repeat their name several times during the conversation

4. Address them by name when you say goodbye

And that’s how I’m going to end this book. There are more than a handful of other useful tips. I recommend you read this one.

It’s common sense, mostly, and yet filled with choices we don’t make regularly enough.

If you want to have friends or influence people, you’ll need to know how to make them feel important.

I’ve been mulling over these first few chapters for weeks. I’ve spent my early mornings walking down to the bay and back while listening to this audiobook.

It’s refreshing to hear a man write in a style that predates my own generation. I find the dignity in his voice and style strangely comforting. It probably helps that the narrator sounds like an older, established gentleman.

Let’s dive in to chapter one. . .

Avoid Criticism And Complaining

We are not dealing with creatures of logic, but of emotion. It’s important to recognize that our decision maker is typically more emotional than logical. The logic is the justification we give to support our emotional decision.

Chapter One talks about criticism, and how it literally kills motivation. One example was Thomas Hardy, an author of several books I’ve read. He quit writing due to the criticism he received. What a tragedy!

Criticism is futile because it puts a person on the defensive and usually makes them strive to justify themselves.

“Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain and most fools do.”

This chapter felt like a much needed slap in the face. From my late teens to early 30s, I was a critic of everything and nearly everyone. The smug superiority I displayed in my early 20s was alarming.

Years later, as I’ve lived and suffered and grown, I’m now a father of three children who are almost all in their teens. Motivating and inspiring our children really matters to me. And the stories Carnegie tells about how much more output employers gain from compliments and words of affirmation astounds me.

It’s easy to justify criticism. From my perspective, criticism points out what to avoid, which seems to motivate unmotivated people. Carnegie says the exact opposite. People who see quality and are encouraged for the effort they put in will rise to the occasion. Sometimes we just need to know it’s possible and borrow some positive energy from someone who believes in us.

It’s worth reading the poem, A Father Forgets, by W Livingston Larned – Link here.

The Power Of Appreciation

The key to influencing people is to give them what they want, which is feeling important, appreciated, and valued.

“I consider my ability to arouse enthusiasm among my people the greatest asset that i posses.”

Charles Schwab

The way to develop the best that is in a person is by appreciation and encouragement. There is nothing else that so kills the ambition of a person as criticism from superiors.

“I never criticize anyone. I believe in giving a person incentive to work. So I’m anxious to praise but loathe to find fault. If I like anything I am hearty in my approbation and lavish in my praise.”

Carnegie also states: “I never met anyone who performed better under criticism than under praise and approval.”

But the goal here is sincere appreciation. Flattery doesn’t earn the same result. Kind words of appreciation nourish our souls and change lives.

• Flattery is shallow selfish and insincere.

• Flattery will do more harm than good.

• Flattery is hollow and insincere.

• Appreciation is sincere.

• Flattery is telling a person exactly what they think about themselves .

“Every man I meet is my superior in some way.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

This is a mindset we should all cultivate. Ralph Waldo Emerson was supremely talented writer, and yet he found a talent or ability in each person that made them his superior. With this approach, we look for and honor the value we find in people. We behave in such a way that demonstrates we know we’re not above everyone else. True humility is very appealing.

Develop Genuine Interest In Other People

Encourage others to talk about themselves and their desires, and show genuine interest in their interests. Closed doors of opportunity often open up as a natural result of demonstrating genuine interest in other people.

There’s nothing any of us likes more than to think or talk about ourselves. It’s a big boring turnoff when someone approaches you and talks about what they want and what they need and then try to convince you to do something for them. Where’s the payoff? But demonstrate a sincere interest in people and they’ll often be genuinely happy to help you reach your goals.

Stay tuned for thoughts on Section 2. As always, I hope you’ll share your thoughts below.

You can blame or credit my wife, Heather for this one. 🙂 The title is From Strength to Strength by Arthur C. Brooks. It’s an enlightening message for the high achiever facing a frustrating decline in creativity and innovation at work.

As always, you’ll greatly benefit from reading the books I recommend, but I read them so you don’t have to.

What you get in the second wave of your career is more valuable than in the first.

Brooks breaks down a person’s career into two primary phases:

• The creative, innovative phase

• The mature, wisdom phase

It’s worth noting that some careers have a 6 year window for the first phase. Some have 20 years. But all high achievers share a common frustration: when the creative, award winning innovation phase is over, it’s really over.

We can save ourselves years of heartache once we recognize that statistically we only have a limited number of years from the start of a career to innovate, create, and dazzle the market. The limits sound rather concrete.

Tenured researchers maintain positions they can no longer deserve because they’ve unknowingly reached a second phase of career which is not conducive to the same approach we take when we are young.

We’ll call this the wisdom phase. This is the phase of one’s life in which it would be ideal to pivot into more of a teaching, mentoring, curating role for others. The accumulation of wisdom over the prior years provides the raw data which your now older and wiser self can weave into a cohesive tale that instructs, inspires, and warns.

The secret to success in this second wave is to recognize first that you’ve entered it (self-awareness), and then to seek a more fitting role given the understandings we take away from the remaining chapters of this book.

How to Make the Transition

The first section of the book is the most interesting to me, because it defines a situation. I didn’t know existed outside of personal experience. It’s reassuring to know this is more of a observable fact among professionals everywhere.

As he launches into a multi-chapter tutorial, the author takes a left turn that some of my fellow readers will find difficult to follow. He references the Buddha and the eight laws as a tool for exercising and adjusting ones mindset.

It is here I will provide you a lengthy quote so you can read it in his own words.

“I have learned through my worldly success to search for satisfaction in the world‘s rewards which are ultimately not satisfying. I will suffer with dissatisfaction if I attain these rewards if I’m attached to them and suffer even more when I no longer earn them them.

The only solution to this problem is to shed my attachments and redefine my desires. To do so is my path to enlightenment, and my second curve.

Neither Thomas nor the Buddha argued that there is something inherently evil about worldly rewards. In fact, they can be used for great good. Money is critical for a functioning society and. supporting your family. Power can be wielded to lift others up. Pleasure leaven’s life. And fame can attract attention to the sources of moral elevation. But as attachments, the focus of our life‘s attention, and as ends instead of means the problem is simple: They cannot bring the deep satisfaction we desire.

We chase our worldly attachments up our first success curve. We work ourselves to death to gain the elusive satisfaction. When the success curve starts to bend back down, the attachments give us tremendous suffering. These attachments must be chipped away. To make it possible to jump onto the second curve.”

Put in my own words, we start this life, seeking trophies and money, and fancy things because we believe that possessing them will usher in this great and satisfying life of luxury. Whether it’s the desire to silence, the fear of financial security, or to accumulate enough valuable things to demonstrate our own value, we mark our success we set our goals based on these accomplishments.

This lines up with everything I’ve heard and read from celebrities and millionaires who acknowledge that the greatest depression they reached was at the height of their fame and wealth, because that was the precisely the moment in which they realize that there goals couldn’t make them happy.

And so, logic dictates that if we are going to transition from a high achiever/creative/innovative career to something humbler, will have to redefine our measurements of success.

A teacher rarely ever ear celebrity or fame or significant wealth. But they can experience the deep and satisfying reward of having enrich the lives of others who might learn from our victories and our mistakes.

Bottom line: It’s not over for you because you’re no longer the alpha innovator. What you’ve learned along the way is priceless and useful for the next generation. It’s up to you to find a way to use it to give them a higher, stronger foundation.

P.S. If the chapter titled “Ponder Your Death” feels a little uncomfortable, it’s supposed to.

This book wasn’t intended to be on my list of books for my 50 book challenge, but I couldn’t wait to dive in when it arrived in the mail. You can order your copy here if you want to read before comparing notes with me.

I want you to look at this book with me because it speaks to the mindset of this entire project.

Before you engage in a life-changing project to read 50 books, you need to know that you are shaped by your thoughts, and that you are also the master of your thoughts.

Here are 5 truths I’ve pulled from As a Man Thinketh that I’m going to cover here with you:

5 Lessons Learned

1. We are not formed by our circumstance.

2. We decide which thoughts we allow and engage.

3. Thoughts eventually blossom into actions.

4. Love and fear predict outcome more than prayer and wishes.

5. We don’t attract what we want. We attract what we are.

You have control, and that means you have responsibility. And that means you have the capacity to manage your thoughts completely.

Man is buffeted by circumstances so long as he believes himself to be the creature of outside conditions, but when he realizes that he is a creative power, and that he may command the hidden soil and seeds of his being out of which circumstances grow, he then becomes the rightful master of himself.

James Allen

We Are Not Formed By Our Circumstances

As James Allen wrote, when we look to outside circumstances as the explanation and cause of who we’ve become, we rob ourselves of the ability to change, because we rob ourselves of the truth.

When will we stop looking to those “exceptional people” who rise above their circumstances as superheroes or superior people? They are just people, like you and me, who refused to allow what was happening around them to define them. This consistent, willful decision may be extraordinary in comparison to the norm, but it is by no means beyond your grasp.

This realization will change each of us dramatically. And not only are we not victims of what happens around us, we can shape who we become by infinitesimally tiny choices.

Every man is where he is by law of his being; the thoughts which he has built into his character have brought him there, and in the arrangement of his life there is no element of chance, but all is the result of a law which cannot err.

James Allen

We Decide Which Thoughts We Allow And Engage

It’s easy to misconstrue the reality of how thoughts and thought management works. The unchallenged assumption most people have is that thoughts are like little magical entities that erupt from the substrate of our subconscious.

We tend to consider every thought in our minds as originating from us, regardless of how unintentional they are. And so, if the thoughts are ours, regardless of how impossible it is to trace to a reason for existence, we tend to accept them as-is and offer no effort or time in addressing them.

Thoughts Need To Be Tended. Constantly.

Concept #1: Not all thoughts in your head are actually yours.

I’m not convinced that all thoughts originate within our minds. Thoughts are frequencies and I believe that thoughts can be “received” as well as “transferred”. How and why are not my expertise. Needless to say, engineers are actively and successfully developing technology that reads thoughts, and so it is likely that thoughts can be sent/received somehow.

Concept #2: It’s your job to evaluate, challenge, and steward the thoughts that pass through.

It’s revolutionary to consider yourself the gate keeper of thoughts. Or the shepherd. Or even the gardener. If you are tending to the thoughts, you hold a very important judging capacity.

With this worldview, you are less a victim of undisciplined and unpredictable thoughts, and you are more an active police force, questioning the validity of thoughts. Challenging their necessity. Holding them accountable. Refusing continued access if they can’t pass the test.

We must discard this lifelong assumption that we are passive recipients of thoughts only and that these thoughts are beyond our control.

Every thought-seed sown or allowed to fall into the mind and to take root there, produces its own, blossoming sooner or later into act, and bearing its own fruitage of opportunity and circumstance. Good thoughts bear good fruit, bad thoughts bad fruit.

James Allen

Thoughts Eventually Blossom Into Actions

Allen wants you to accept that thoughts are like seeds. That’s why your function as the gatekeeper is so important. Once a series of seeds is planted, it’s going to eventually bear fruit. They take root deep inside and they grow beneath the surface. Eventually they break through and surface, directing actions and character.

We can waste a lifetime whacking weeds that pop up. But the weeds are the fruit of the seeds we could have challenged and refused much earlier.

Look, it’s not a fun idea at the onset to consider a lifetime of evaluating and challenging thoughts. It takes intentionality. It takes energy. It takes commitment. Those mental reps are like hitting the gym every single day and getting in your reps with the weights. You don’t become Arnold Schwarzenegger overnight. But you do end up massively stronger after two years of consistent weight training.

No one is teaching children en masse the skill of critical thinking. So we allow unchallenged thoughts to go deep and grow weeds which confuse the daily execution of our purpose and mission later on.

Love And Fear Predict Outcome More Than Prayer And Wishes

Not what he wishes and prays for does a man get, but what he justly earns. His wishes and prayers are only gratified and answered when they harmonize with his thoughts and actions.

James Allen

Allen offers a profoundly important statement. For the Christian who prays for everything but seems to receive almost nothing, there have certainly been times when you evaluate your process and wonder why prayers go unanswered. You may question whether God answers prayer. You may feel that the whole thing is a sham.

And James Allen would inform you that prayers are as ineffective as wishes when the prayers don’t line up with his daily disciplined thoughts and actions. In other words, if I call myself a Christian and I pray to God requesting healing for my body but I turn around and treat my body like its junk, my prayers and my thoughts do not harmonize. I am asking God to force my body to be healthier than I am willing to sustain.

Bottom line: If my prayers disagree with my choices, even my internal choices, then I am being disingenuous. I either need to quit praying for changes or start holding myself responsible for as many of those changes as I am able.

We Don’t Attract What We Want. We Attract What We Are

I couldn’t help but think about “The Secret” when I read this book. James Allen’s book obviously predates that pop culture phenomenon, but he was aware of people already believing that they can attract what they want in life.

Preparation leads to opportunity. Desire is good so long as it takes action.

A couple quotes that fall in line with this idea:

“When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.”

“Luck is when preparation meets opportunity.”

We see people “burst” onto the scene with a new album, new book, new gig, and we are amazed at how suddenly they achieved success. Except it wasn’t suddenly at all. They were tending their gardens for years prior, and when their skills matched the weight of responsibility of opportunity, they were equipped to capitalize on an opportunity that presents itself.

I can daydream about being an author every day of my life. If I don’t type words on my laptop each day, that daydream will never become reality.

I can daydream about being physically fit and toned, but if I don’t wake up and exercise every day or two, that daydream will never become reality.

“Set your intention” is a massively popular phrase right now. And there’s certainly nothing wrong with it. Because the root word of intention is “intent”, i.e. the ACTION you intend to deploy to achieve a goal.

Closing Thoughts

There’s a lot of meat here for such a small book. The message that I’m going to take away from this book is that each person is the master of their own thoughts, and therefore they are the masters of their character. And therefore they are the masters of their circumstance. Because circumstance is what is formed by our actions, and our actions are what is formed by our thoughts.

if I could put this into even simpler terms, James Allen is telling me that I have no one else to look to or to blame or to hold accountable. But that I am empowered with the exclusive right to determine my thoughts, which will shape my beliefs, and my actions which will shape my outcomes, and my circumstances which will intern shape my entire life..

These seem like abrasive, condemning thoughts to the person who is undisciplined and unwilling to make consistently responsible decisions.

Men are anxious to improve their circumstances, but are unwilling to improve themselves. They therefore remain bound.

James Allen

What a statement. This is a call to hold ourselves accountable rather than looking elsewhere to blame people or events who and where we are in life. That requires a painful amount of honesty and personal accountability.

I encourage you to read this book, and as I have, to allow what is true to examine you and highlight opportunities to more completely align yourself with truth.

This book has taken longer than anticipated to complete. You can catch up with my thoughts on Parts 1 and Parts 2.

In this post we finally get to the germs, aka infectious disease.

It’s worth, noting that the hunter gatherer communities were far less affected by mass scale infectious disease.

Why did the historical rise of agriculture mark the rise of our mass scale infectious diseases?

I took some notes from the book:

1. Agriculture sustains much higher population densities, often 10-100x higher

2. Hunter gatherers frequently shift camp, leaving behind their waste and resulting bacteria and worms.

3. Agriculture societies even sometimes gather human waste and worms and spread as fertilizer in the fields.

4. Sedentary farmers become surrounded by their own waste and disease carrying rodents attracted to the storage of food.

5. Forest clearings form ideal breeding habitats for disease carrying mosquitos.

6. World trade routes joined populations of Europe, Asia, and North Africa into one giant breeding ground of microbes. That’s when small pox reached Rome and killed millions between AD 165-180.

But Where Did These Diseases Come From?

Ever wondered where infectious diseases come from and how they became so lethal? The author says these microbes often originate in animals, and the proximity humans began to spend near animals as they developed agrarian / farming cultures introduced those microbes into the human biome.

It was common for farmers to bring small pigs into their huts or rudimentary homes. Shepherds, butchers, and cooks frequently encountered their waste and blood. Farmers used animal feces to fertilize their land for planting season.

Then these microbes are introduced to the human immune system, which introduces an entirely different set of defenses than the microbes are used to.

The microbes formed new defense systems to survive the human immune system. These new tactics were at times lethal and decimated densely populated people groups. Given more time, these microbes would sometimes lessen their lethality in order to keep the host alive longer so the microbe could spread and survive longer.

That’s crazy stuff. It’s hard to envision the actual process of adapting and surviving. In my mind, that looks like conducting a strategy session. I don’t necessarily ascribe self-awareness and strategy to microbes, but that leaves me with unanswered questions as to how these mutations occur over time.

t to retrace and catch up on the beginning of the book.

Chapter 4 begins a new section of the book, telling the story of how food production, which is the transition from Hunter, gatherer status to agriculture, shaped the success of developing civilizations, including Pizarro and the Swiss Fred Hershey.

Availability of more consumable calories means more people.

– Jared Diamond

Hunting And Gathering Has Its Limitations

Only a small percentage of wild plants and animals are worth hunting or gathering.

Most wild plants and animals are:

• Indigestible.

• Poisonous

• Low in nutritional value

• Tedious to prepare

• Difficult to gather

• Dangerous to hunt

Wild land can often provide only 1% available food biomass while farmed land can produce as much as 90%. So we see why villages and eventually cities were formed around the development of agriculture. Without it, we spread ourselves out further across the land. Agriculture exponentially increases food production using the same amount of labor.

Hunter-gatherer societies were more egalitarian than farming communities because all able bodied men were required to participate in the pursuit of food.

Once a community developed agriculture, a select few would rise to the top and pursue control over the food supply. Everyone else becomes dependent upon the food controller, and the class system is born.

Why Does This Matter To Me?

Several times I’ve stopped myself and asked why I’m taking the time to read this book, when my ultimate goal was to increase my knowledge and capacity to sell and operate a successful business.

As my university philosophy professor Dr. Davey Naugle once said, liberal arts exist to teach us when and why, not just what and how. He was referring to a four year liberal arts education versus a trade school.

He believed that if everyone took up a trade and developed skills in one thing, we’d lose something akin to the soul of our culture. Not because there’s anything wrong with learning a trade, but because we’d only know what and how, and we wouldn’t remember the history of it all or the why behind what we are doing… as a civilization, not just as an employee or tradesman.

I’m reading 50+ books to improve mindset and personal development before 2027 and you’re invited to read and discuss with me. Here’s the link to buy your copy of the first book: Guns, Germs, and Steel: The Fate of Human Societies, by Jared Diamond:

[Paperback Link – Kindle Link – Audible Link]

Starting Off With A Challenge

I picked the first book of the 50 to really challenge me. I tried reading this book years ago, but never got past the long introduction. This time around, I bought the audiobook, and I listen when I drive, shower, and get ready for bed.

The audiobook will take 14+ hours to complete. That’s twice as long as most books on my list. That’s okay. With 50 books to complete in 104 weeks (aka two years), I can easily finish this 14 hour audiobook in two weeks.

Now that we got that out of the way, let’s move on to our first book:

Guns, Germs, And Steel

The prologue is fifty three minutes long. I endured all of it, but it was very dry, mechanical, and scholastic. I actually played 20 minutes of the intro in the car while driving my kids to jiu jitsu. They begged me not to play it again on the drive home.

Not that you need my permission, but you have it to skip the intro if you get into it and find yourself doubting whether this book is for you. It’s easier to endure when it’s audible, for what it’s worth.

Chapter 1: Up To The Starting Line

Why have some societies prospered and dominated others, while some have remained isolated or technologically stagnant? That’s the question Diamond raises in this chapter. He explores the inequality in human development and technological advancement that has existed between different societies throughout history.

This inequality is not due to differences in intelligence or inherent superiority of certain peoples or races, but can rather be explained by environmental factors, geographical advantages, and historical circumstances. He introduces the concept of “geographic determinism,” suggesting that the physical environment, including the availability of domesticable plants and animals, played a crucial role in shaping the course of human history.

It’s important to understand the factors that contributed to the rise of agriculture and sedentary societies, which ultimately led to the development of complex civilizations. The availability of domesticable plants and animals in certain regions provided a head start for some societies in terms of food production and surplus, which allowed for population growth, specialization, and technological advancements.

Overall, Chapter One sets out to dispel the myth that intellectual superiority explains why some cultures and people groups develop faster and influence history on a grander scale.

My Take

I’m soaking this topic like a sponge. I’m not aware of any intrinsic beliefs that agree or disagree with the point he’s trying to make. I have never considered intelligence as a factor for historical impact. Probably due to the fact that the United States was considered the most influential country of the 20th Century and I sincerely question our collective IQs.

I wasn’t prepared for the New Zealander and Australian focus. Have I ever read a book that focused on these parts of the world before? I sincerely doubt it.

Chapter 2: A Natural Experiment Of History

In this chapter, we’re introduced to the Polynesian islands and their unique historical and environmental context. These islands are served up as a natural experiment in which we explore the impact geography has on human development.

The Marquesas and the Society Islands had similar origins, cultures, and people, but they developed at different paces and experienced different outcomes. The Marquesas remained isolated and undeveloped, while the Society Islands saw the emergence of complex societies with advanced agriculture, social hierarchies, and technological progress.

The key factor is the availability of domesticable plants and animals. The Society Islands had more suitable environments for growing crops like taro and yams, as well as native animals like chickens. This allowed them to develop agriculture, leading to surpluses, population growth, and social complexity.

In contrast, the Marquesas lacked these resources, which limited their ability to develop agriculture and led to a more primitive and isolated existence. The contrast between the two island groups to illustrate how differences in geographical factors, specifically the availability of domesticable flora and fauna, can have a profound impact on the development of societies.

Overall, Chapter 2 highlights the concept of geographic determinism and its role in shaping the trajectory of human history by examining the natural experiment provided by the Polynesian islands. Diamond’s goal is to demonstrate how environmental factors can play a crucial role in determining the fate of societies and their levels of development.

A Note About Historicity And Timelines

The author continually references evolution and estimates of 11,000 B.C. for the initial human habitation of the Americas. For some, this will be a deal breaker, depending on whether you ascribe to a belief in the biblical account of creation or some version of big bang theory and evolution.

It’s a baby/bathwater scenario. Too many people hold an underlying belief that I disagree with to toss out everything they say. To do so would be to exclude the vast majority of discoveries and new data announced each year.

The goal of any book, podcast, movie, or conversation is to glean from it what you can while setting aside the assumptions and theories you disagree with.

It’s important for you to consider this approach to knowledge, because many of the most egregious ideological wars in human history could have been avoided if the groups involved had chosen to find common ground and knowledge that will expand upon our own rather than issuing absolute judgment against any data from a person who holds a belief you don’t share.

We’re here to grow and learn, and we’ll do that by reading books written by people with beliefs vastly different from our own.

Check out part two here.

I’m reading these 50 books below in a very particular order, intended to take you and I from beginning principles/concepts to advanced in the areas of business, money, sales, and human behavior.

The Reading List Progression

After researching top rated books with the most reviews on Amazon based on Patrick Bet-David’s advice, I asked Chat GPT to reorder them in order from beginning principles and concepts to advanced so that we’ll follow a logical progression of ideas.

Remember, the goal of this 50 Book Challenge is to develop new, efficient mindsets toward business, sales, money, and human nature. These knowledge categories are the springboard of business success. And if you’re like me, they will launch you out of your theoretical, conceptual phase into an active, decisive approach toward your life.

Foundational Knowledge

The first books on this journey cover fundamental concepts such as mindset, personal development, and basic principles of success. They were prioritized at the beginning to establish a strong foundation.

Here’s The Book List

BOOK 1: Guns, Germs, And Steel: The Fates of Human Societies, by Jared Diamond
Kindle Link – Audible Link

BOOK 2: As A Man Thinketh, by James Allen
Paperback Link – Kindle Link

BOOK 3: From Strength to Strength, by Arthur C. Brooks
Kindle Link - Audible Link

BOOK 4: How to Win Friends and Influence People, by Dale Carnegie
Kindle Link – Audible Link

BOOK 5: Wild at Heart, by John Eldredge
Kindle Link – Audible Link

BOOK 6: Think and Grow Rich, by Napoleon Hill
Kindle Link – Audible Link

BOOK 7: The Richest Man in Babylon, by George S. Clayson
Kindle Link – Audible Link

BOOK 8: The Magic of Thinking Big: The True Secret of Success, by David J. Schwartz
Kindle Link – Audible Link

BOOK 9: Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones, by James Clear
Kindle Link – Audible Link

BOOK 10: Rich Dad, Poor Dad, by Robert Kiyosaki
Kindle Link – Audible Link

BOOK 11: Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking, by Susan Cain
Kindle Link – Audible Link

BOOK 12: The Power of Your Subconscious Mind, by Joseph Murphy
Kindle Link – Audible Link

BOOK 13: Factfulness: Ten Reasons We’re Wrong About the World–and Why Things Are Better Than You Think, by Hans Rosling
Kindle Link – Audible Link

Building Skills

Books focusing on practical skills like communication, negotiation, and persuasion were positioned next to help develop essential abilities in business and sales.

BOOK 14: Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind, by Yuval Noah Harari
Paperback Link – Kindle Link – Audible Link

BOOK 15: Thinking, Fast and Slow, by Michael Kahneman
Paperback Link – Kindle Link – Audible Link

BOOK 15: Predictably Irrational, Revised and Expanded Edition: The Hidden Forces That Shape Our Decisions, by Dr. Dan Ariely
Kindle Link – Audible Link

The Laws of Human Nature, by Robert Greene
Kindle Link – Audible Link

Think Again: The Power of Knowing What You Don’t Know, by Adam Grant
Kindle Link – Audible Link

Beyond Order: 12 More Rules for Life, by Jordan Peterson
Kindle Link – Audible Link

Mastery, by Robert Greene
Kindle Link – Audible Link

The 48 Laws of Power, by Robert Greene
Kindle Link – Audible Link

The Art of War, by Sun Tzu
Paperback Link – Kindle Link

Deepening Understanding

As the list progresses, books delve into more complex topics such as human behavior, decision-making, and the psychology of success, gradually deepening the reader’s understanding.

Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It, by Chris Voss and Tahl Razz
[Paperback Link – Kindle Link – Audible Link]

Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In, by Roger Fisher and William Ury
[Paperback Link – Kindle Link – Audible Link]

Trump: The Art of the Deal, by Donald J. Trump
[Paperback Link – Kindle Link – Audible Link]

Zig Ziglar’s Secrets of Closing the Sale: For Anyone Who Must Get Others to Say Yes!, by Zig Ziglar
[Paperback Link – Kindle Link – Audible Link]

Fanatical Prospecting: The Ultimate Guide to Opening Sales Conversations and Filling the Pipeline by Leveraging Social Selling, Telephone, Email, Text, and Cold Calling, by Jeb Blount
[Paperback Link – Kindle Link – Audible Link]

Virtual Selling: How to Build Relationships, Differentiate, and Win Sales Remotely, by Mike Schultz, Dave Shady, Andy Springer
[Paperback Link – Kindle Link – Audible Link]

The Sales Acceleration Formula: Using Data, Technology, and Inbound Selling to go from $0 to $100 Million, by Mark Roberge
[Paperback Link – Kindle Link – Audible Link]

The Challenger Sale: Taking Control of the Customer Conversation, by Matthew Dixon, Brent Adamson
[Paperback Link – Kindle Link – Audible Link]

Way of the Wolf: Straight Line Selling: Master the Art of Persuasion, Influence, and Success, by Jordan Belfort
[Paperback Link – Kindle Link – Audible Link]

Advanced Strategies

Towards the end of the list, advanced strategies, principles, and frameworks are introduced, preparing the reader for more sophisticated approaches to business, sales, and personal growth.

How To Be A GREAT Salesperson…By Monday Morning!, by David R. Cook
[Paperback Link – Kindle Link – Audible Link]

The Art of Persuasion: Winning Without Intimidation, by Bob Burg
[Paperback Link – Kindle Link – Audible Link]

Building a StoryBrand: Clarify Your Message So Customers Will Listen, by Donald Miller
[Paperback Link – Kindle Link – Audible Link]

$100M Offers: How To Make Offers So Good People Feel Stupid Saying No, by Alex Hormozi
[Paperback Link – Kindle Link – Audible Link]

The Science of Getting Rich 1912, by W. D. Wattles
[Paperback Link – Kindle Link – Audible Link]

The Dip: A Little Book That Teaches You When to Quit (and When to Stick), by Seth Godin
[Hardback Link – Kindle Link – Audible Link]

The Power of Discipline: How to Use Self Control and Mental Toughness to Achieve Your Goals, by Daniel Walter
[Paperback Link – Kindle Link – Audible Link]

Stop Overthinking: 23 Techniques to Relieve Stress, Stop Negative Spirals, Declutter Your Mind, and Focus on the Present, by Nick Trenton
[Paperback Link – Kindle Link – Audible Link]

Master Your Emotions: A Practical Guide to Overcome Negativity and Better Manage Your Feelings, by Thibaut Meurisse
[Paperback Link – Kindle Link – Audible Link]

Diverse Perspectives

Throughout the ordering process, diversity in perspectives, covering various aspects of business, money, sales, and human behavior, was considered to provide a well-rounded and comprehensive learning experience.

Don’t Believe Everything You Think: Why Your Thinking Is The Beginning & End Of Suffering (Beyond Suffering), by Joseph Nguyen
[Paperback Link – Kindle Link – Audible Link]

Principles for Dealing with the Changing World Order: Why Nations Succeed and Fail, by Ray Dalio
[Hardback Link – Kindle Link – Audible Link]

Why Nations Fail: The Origins of Power, Prosperity, and Poverty, by Daron Acemoglu
[Paperback Link – Kindle Link – Audible Link]

The Tipping Point: How Little Things Can Make a Big Difference, by Malcolm Gladwell
[Paperback Link – Kindle Link – Audible Link]

Surrounded by Idiots (The Surrounded by Idiots Series), by Thomas Erickson
[Paperback Link – Kindle Link – Audible Link]

The Art of Thinking Clearly, by Rolf Dobelli
[Paperback Link – Kindle Link – Audible Link]

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, by Stephen Covey
[Paperback Link – Kindle Link – Audible Link]

Mindset – Updated Edition: Changing The Way You think To Fulfil Your Potential, by Dr. Carol Dweck
[Paperback Link – Kindle Link – Audible Link]

The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success: A Practical Guide to the Fulfillment of Your Dreams, by Deepak Chopra
[Paperback Link – Kindle Link – Audible Link]

What Every Body Is Saying: An Ex-FBI Agent’s Guide to Speed-Reading People, by Joe Navarro with Marvin Karlins
[Paperback Link – Kindle Link – Audible Link]

Continued Advanced Learning

So You Want to Talk About Race, by Ijeoma Olio
[Paperback Link – Kindle Link – Audible Link]
*Audible of this book free with membership

The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself, by Michael A. Singer
[Paperback Link – Kindle Link – Audible Link]

The Obstacle Is the Way: The Timeless Art of Turning Trials into Triumph, by Ryan Holiday
[Hardcover Link – Kindle Link – Audible Link]

Factfulness: Ten Reasons We’re Wrong About the World–and Why Things Are Better Than You Think, by Hans Rosling
[Paperback Link – Kindle Link – Audible Link]

Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less, by Greg McKeown
[Paperback Link – Kindle Link – Audible Link]

The Five Dysfunctions of a Team: A Leadership Fable, by Patrick Lencioni
[Hardback Link – Kindle Link – Audible Link]

How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships, by Leil Lowndes
[Paperback Link – Kindle Link – Audible Link]

The Psychology of Money: Timeless Lessons on Wealth, Greed, and Happiness, by Morgan Housel
[Paperback Link – Kindle Link – Audible Link]

The Intelligent Investor, by Benjamin Graham
[Paperback Link – Kindle Link – Audible Link]

By considering these factors, the list was organized to guide readers through a logical and progressive journey from foundational principles to advanced concepts in the selected areas of interest.