Do You Overshare or Undershare Your Feelings?

During the stay-at-home orders, it’s easier to see which side of the emotion sharing fence people live on. More than ever, neighbors and friends are calling each other to check in and see how the people in their lives are doing. 

But who’s really telling the truth? How many people out there are one week away from no groceries or a month away from foreclosure and they never say a word? 

On the other hand, there are people you and I follow who share every possible problem, concern, or discomfort they feel. Oversharers is what I call them. Their oversharing is not limited to emotional venting, but it’s the most uncomfortable part. 

Do I need to know that your neighbors won’t park on the driveway? Or that the organic produce you ordered was delivered overripe? 

Even if we’ve never defined it, I think we all carry an awareness of some sort of unspoken rule about how much sharing is too much. But maybe our measuring sticks are just really different. 

How Much Sharing Is Too Much?

There’s no one-size-fits-all answer to how much is too much. Some comedians make a career from complaining about mundane details and personality quirks. New moms are another group who probably should be granted a free pass. Even if we don’t want to know every detail, you’ve been through enough to earn a pass. 

But rather than assigning a random measurement of oversharing, let’s cover some basic rules to consider: 

If you are guilty or think you might be guilty of Oversharing: 

• Are your friends going to lose respect for you after seeing your update? 

• Will you feel embarrassed later when someone mentions it? 

• Will your closest friends or family feel disrespected by what you’re sharing? 

Start with those three. If you can eliminate those three types of posts, you’ve made signifiant strides toward eliminating Oversharing. 

How Much Sharing Is Too Little? 

I know some people who are week-to-week right now. They’re not sure what they’ll get to eat next week, and they’re not talking about it. 

You ever have neighbors offer to help you move into your new house, but instead of taking them up on it, you either moved by yourself or paid to have total strangers do it for you? 

Is that pride or dignity? 

Could be either. 

But if you are struggling right now and people are reaching out to check on you, don’t act like everything is fine if it’s not. There is a healthy middle ground between asking for handouts and never acknowledging weakness. 

Remember: Sharing IS caring.