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Have You Tried to Mind Game Yourself Into Your Destiny?
So you don't believe you have a destiny... Got it. Probably not the ideal article for you to read, then. It won't hurt my feelings if you tune out. For those of you who DO or who MIGHT think you have a destiny, I'm talking to you.
I'm a believer in destiny. But I must add caveats, as one does. Best as I can figure, people have destinies, callings, and purposes. This isn't one of those deep dive articles that spells out all the dimensions of each. But at this moment in Time, I see some of that stuff as open-ended. And I reserve the right to have my opinions changed by new experience and knowledge.
All I really wanted to say is that I've caught myself trying "mindgame" myself into my destiny, and I wonder if you've done the same.
What do I mean by mindgaming myself?
I just mean that I have felt the call to die to my own self-centered dreams and serve select other people's missions/goals/dreams. And that's a tough pill to swallow. Because when you die to your self, you REALLY die to the possibility of getting your way somewhere down the road.
So if you dreamed of being an accomplished writer, but you devoted yourself to someone else's business that wasn't your personal passion because you felt that's where God placed you, you might try to fake that you'd given up on being successful and famous writer in an attempt to fast forward the season of service to someone else.
But you can't fake die. I know. I've tried. You either die to a dream or you don't. And if you do, then what you're doing right now isn't a stepping stone. It's not a means to an end. And you treat the people and projects in your present moment very differently when they're the main or only thing for the rest of your life.
Does dying to a dream mean it can never come true? No. Actually it might. But it means you're not going to be the one hustling right now to make it come true. You are giving up the right to ever be the person to make it happen. So you see it as a dead and gone issue that would have to be resurrected from the dead by a higher power in order to be possible.
And ironically, some people you serve as you die to your own dream might believe that dying to a dream is a sign you lack the grit to succeed. So not only do you have the pleasure of dying to the dream burning in your heart - you also get to be completely misunderstood and misjudged by the people you serve who ARE actually focused on making their dream a reality.
I never said life is fair.
Why Do Some People Get to Just Do Their Dream While Others Don't?
That's the question, isn't it? Why are there so many seemingly illogical realities in life? Perhaps it all comes down to what each person believes. If that were true, then if you believed you were in the right just launching out into the depths to pursue your dream, then you'd be doing the right thing. But if you believed that you needed permission and a "sending out" of sorts to do your thing, then you are doing the right thing by being faithful tending to someone else's garden.
The real rub comes when you're doing what you have the faith for, but you are still disgruntled. Been there. Done that. And really dying is the only answer I've come up with so far.
For a bacon and egg breakfast, both the chicken and the pig are necessary. But while the chicken is involved, the pig is committed. Are you the pig or the chicken?
When you go the distance, you say goodbye forever to the dream that haunts you. You let it die and you mourn its passing. It's a deeply painful and vulnerable experience. But there's also a peace that comes, when you have settled an unresolved matter. It allows you to be fully committed. It allows you to devote all your resources instead of holding some back for the possible breakthrough moment that might lie waiting around every corner.
There's a freedom in dying to a hope you don't feel permitted to pursue. But it's a costly freedom...