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Blake Miller's avatar

That quote: “Don’t ask yourself what the world needs, ask yourself what makes you come alive, because what the world needs are men who have come alive” strikes a chord in me. It reminds me of what I've been pondering lately about the difference between being externally motivated and being selfish.

It's been a big theme in my life. I've always done whatever I needed to survive, even if it meant sacrificing myself endlessly in the process. But this causes other issues: For one, at its essence, it's a fake way of living, and people pick up on that. People don't gravitate toward people who are just doing what they think is expected of them. But at the same time, they don't gravitate toward people who are too self-absorbed either.

It reminds me of reading Osho. He said that people need to be more selfish. It opened my eyes for a time, as I read it, as it seemed backwards, but the premise clicked at the time. I remember talking with someone about how I didn't like my job, and realizing that in my core, I believed that jobs were simply not-for-liking. "Work sucks everywhere" was my thinking. I worked at the time at a major defense contractor, which was supposed to be a prestigious accomplishment, but it was honestly the worst job I ever had. Why even try to find a new job? That was just the way the world was, so just suck it up and bury your wants and desires.

I've only recently begun to consider what God wants for me. I can't imagine that he intends for me to needlessly suffer. Perhaps it's quite the opposite - God can give one permission to do what they can to be happy.

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